Tuesday 12 July 2011

Ten Short Finnish Jokes

Finnish jokes seem to involve primarily 3 subjects:

- Drinking
- Being taciturn
- Swedes

Here is a small selection of short Finnish jokes collected from various sources (I'll keep the longer jokes for a later date).

Disclaimer: Laughs not guaranteed.




Q: What is the difference between an empty stomach and a Finnish person who wants to ask something from a stranger?

A: You can actually hear the empty stomach.



Q: What is the difference between Finnish weddings and Finnish funerals?

A: At the funerals, there is one less drunk.



Q: What is the difference between Sweden and Finland?

A: The Swedes have really nice neighbours.



Q: Why are there no Finns on the moon?

A: They went, but there was no wood.



Q: What is the most heavenly language?

A: Finnish, because it takes an eternity to learn.



Q: How many Finns does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. Once a Finn has noticed that a light bulb is made of glass and has the shape of a bottle, he'll try to open it.



Q: No, seriously, how many Finns does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five. One to hold the bulb and four to drink enough vodka for the room to start spinning.



Q: What's the difference between the Vikings and Finnish men?

A: When the Vikings came home after their wars, that's when the real drinking began. But when a Finnish man comes home after drinking, that's when the real war begins.



Q: How do you know a Finnish man is madly in love with his wife?

A: He almost tells her.



Q: How do you spot an extrovert Finn?

A: When talking to you, he stares at your feet instead of his own



Further jokes can be found here.

Do you know any other short Finnish jokes like this? Do share!

10 comments:

  1. Funny, thanks for sharing :D

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  2. these are terrible

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  3. "But i have been given an honoury Finnish name (Olli miekka)"
    :DDD Olli the sword xD

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  4. I once told to joke: "What is the difference between Finland and Sweden?" to one of my American friends. After I told the answer, he said something like: "Well, I imagine Norwegians are pretty nice..."
    I stared at him for a second, and then said: "Wow. Thanks."
    He was pretty embarrased, since I am a Finn.

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  5. I am offensive, and I find that Finnish.

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  6. Hey, these are perfect :DDD Thanks for sharing. I heard several of them before but still can't stop laughing :-D (considering I've been here only for 2 months...)
    I love Finland and Finns :)))

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  7. I'd say there is one more theme that is recurrent in Finnish jokes: Being extremely tough and violent, especially when drunk. Here's my favourite:

    Pekka and Toivonen were having a long weekend in London during WWII. When they had drunken themselves completely plastered the first evening, they returned to their hotel room, collapsed into their respective beds, and promptly slept off. During the night, there was a German air raid, and the entire block around the hotel was totally levelled; only the hotel itself was left standing. In the morning, Pekka woke up, terribly hungover. He pulled the curtains took one look at the mayhem outside, and - suddenly wide awake - shouted to his friend: "Toivonen! Toivonen! Get up! We have to leave! Immediately! We don't stand a chance of ever paying for this!"

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